Filming the Dolphins of Taiji and witnessing their fight to the death will always be seared in my memory.. Could feel the dolphins' agony each time a spike was driven into their spine. Not something that i wanted to witness....but now that i have, trying to turn that horror into a more meaningful energy.
Each time a fisherman would drive a spike into a dolphin, it would give me a flashback to a traumatic fencing experience. All was going great with my fencing as I was on the National Team and training for Nationals. Because there was a shortage of fencers that night at the fencing club... agreed to fence someone who asked me to fence. Soon in our bout (when i was four points ahead)...this male fencer came at me with his epee held like a dagger with the intention to INJURE! I took what felt like my last breath as he thrust his epee deep into my shoulder. I remember the attack so vividly...those seconds were one of the longest moments....time slowed down from his arm winding up to hit with all his force before he drove his blade into me.
The dolphins' death is the most agonizing...before watching their fight to the end...i have never known such suffering to exist. From their chase into the cove...to their terror of being trapped in the cove....to witnessing members of their families being killed. And right down to individual dolphins being grabbed, tied by their tail and dragged under the darkness of the tarp for their own lives to end. You think it ends there after they are almost drowned and as they flap their tails vigorously trying to escape...but the never ending nightmare continues. A fisherman winds up his arm thrusting a spike into their spine.....the dolphins are in agony and dying, yet refusing to give up on life as they thrash their tails in agony trying to take a breath through their blowholes that the fishermen have plugged.
Through these dolphins..from the one at the Whale Museum who wanted to play with me...not harboring resentment towards humans for being kept captive ...to the dolphins who looked at death and felt hopeless despair...but still.tried to swim out to freedom....even as their last breath was taken from them...I have learned to not give up and to fight...to believe in life...and dreams.
As an athlete facing many struggles and injuries....the most recent trying to overcome an injury from a Chiropractor who was listed with the Canadian Sport Centre Ontario, someone who was suppose to help athletes; but who nearly paralyzed me and took me out of the running (or what i had hoped for) of making the Olympic team. My pain...anger...resentment...and nightmares of the chiro...was all i could think about for a long time as i missed an entire fencing season. But while in Japan something shifted within me...i was becoming stronger...even when i had pain at night it seemed so insignificant compared to the" fight to live", i was witnessing the dolphins struggle with.
When i returned home...i looked at the fencing schedule and saw that there is still a small fighting chance to make the team for 2012. And what the dolphins taught me is that dreams are worth fighting for....whether or not they are achieved.....it's the hard fight and being hopeful in life which matters the most.
I'm leaving for Budapest this Friday to try to get into World Cup fencing shape again...if i do; will owe any future wins to the Dolphins of Taiji. And no matter what.....will continue to do what i can to return to Taiji as much as possible with ways to promote eco-tourism and to continue to learn more about ways of helping the Dolphins.of Taiji. (www.leslie-anngervais.blogspot.com - Journey of A Canadian Athlete)
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good luck!
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